“The Venn Diagram of boys who don’t like smart girls and boys you don’t wanna date is a circle.” — John Green (via themischiefneverends)
- Normal people: Aw, look at the couple. They're so cute!
- Me: I wonder if they've fucked yet.
do you ever see someone and think oh my god i would like to be responsible for your next orgasm
- Me: Why do I always have to pee
- Mom: you do constantly drink water...
- Me: maybe I'm pregnant.
- Mom: right, because you have such an eventful sex life
Eating oreos and drinking home-made ice coffee as I watch 13 going on 30 and edit my portfolio
Then partying with alex and kenza whattuppp
- PENCIL: You know, I'm really sorry.
- ERASER: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.
- PENCIL: I'm sorry, 'couse you get hurt because of me. Whenever I make a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller every time.
- ERASER: That's true, but i don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though, one of these days, I know I'll be gone and you have to replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad.
- random blogger reading this: what
- me: OTP
- New Yorker: No, but I could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant.
- age 15: i want a boyfriend
- age 20: i rly want a boyfriend ok
- age 30: no srsly i need a boyfriend guys im not kidding
- age 40: pls im desperate
- age 50: guys this isnt funny anymore cmon
- age 60: its not funny guys
- age 70: guys