March 2012
Scientific Attempt To Create Most Annoying Song Ever
An online poll conducted in the ’90s set Vitaly Komar, Alex Melamid and David Soldier on a quest to create the most annoying song ever. After gathering data about people’s least favorite music and lyrical subjects, they did the unthinkable: they combined them into a single monstrosity, specifically engineered to sound unpleasant to the maximum percentage of listeners.
Amazingly, this “most unwanted music” contains little dissonance — that would have been too easy. For the most part, they seem to have tried to assemble these elements in a listenable way.
Komar & Melamid and David Soldier’s list of undesirable elements included holiday music, bagpipes, pipe organ, a children’s chorus and the concept of children in general (really?), Wal-Mart, cowboys, political jingoism, George Stephanopoulos, Coca Cola, bossanova synths, banjo ferocity, harp glissandos, oompah-ing tubas and much, much more. It’s actually a fascinating listen, worthwhile for the opera rapping alone.
OMFG i’m CRYING
I CAN’T HAHHAHAHAHAA
February 2012
- Normal people: Aw, look at the couple. They're so cute!
- Me: I wonder if they've fucked yet.
do you ever see someone and think oh my god i would like to be responsible for your next orgasm
- Me: Why do I always have to pee
- Mom: you do constantly drink water...
- Me: maybe I'm pregnant.
- Mom: right, because you have such an eventful sex life
Then partying with alex and kenza whattuppp
- PENCIL: You know, I'm really sorry.
- ERASER: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.
- PENCIL: I'm sorry, 'couse you get hurt because of me. Whenever I make a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller every time.
- ERASER: That's true, but i don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though, one of these days, I know I'll be gone and you have to replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad.
- random blogger reading this: what
- me: OTP
- New Yorker: No, but I could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant.
- age 15: i want a boyfriend
- age 20: i rly want a boyfriend ok
- age 30: no srsly i need a boyfriend guys im not kidding
- age 40: pls im desperate
- age 50: guys this isnt funny anymore cmon
- age 60: its not funny guys
- age 70: guys